He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
