Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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