I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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