She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
