I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
