No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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