it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
