I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
