i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
