I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
