took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Randomize
