do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize