we're chasing vodka with high fives
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
