I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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