she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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