Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
