Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
