You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
