Apparently you make a good broom.
It's Friday. Sex?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
