how can u be prego again
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
