1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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