This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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