Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
