Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But theres a keg here and me gusta
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
