my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
