Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
