and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
