Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
