the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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