This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
