That's intense
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
