You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cockslap morals
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
