i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
