Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
4 words: hood of his car
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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