i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
