I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i believe in u and ur pee
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
