I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
