im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
