D3 body, D1 cock
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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