dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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