i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
