no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
