For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
