so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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