The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
