Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
