I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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