We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
