drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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