I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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