ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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