We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
