There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
