theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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