Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
