You made me cry and you don't even care
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
