So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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