Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
