if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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