What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is my gift to your gina
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
