I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
