I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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