Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
