Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
